Today, I had no control, I mean absolutely none. School, my arch nemesis, called me stupid, the mirror called me ugly, the scale called me fat.We've all had these days, especially if your a woman, where you feel these lies being whispered, or in my case, shouted at you. I was battling with God in my head...."Ok God, I know that I shouldn't feel these things...you created me... you love me....blah blah blah." I was trying to sell myself on why God was better than what I had in mind. How come I didn't know that already? It's not like God is this creepy vacuum salesman, and I'm wondering whether to let him into my house, so he demonstrate how fast a vac can suck up a pound of dirt...HE'S MY GOD, MY MAN, MY SAVIOR!
I had spent all night wrestling with doubts and talking to God....trying to make a deal with him..."Just give me a little control...if you make me skinnier, healthier, smarter, prettier, etc... don't you know I'll be happier!"...we all think this at some point.
But....What if I have no right to be those things? Would His glory still be shown, would I want to live His word...claim His love...lead worship....mentor high school/college girls? ... and the answer I came to was obvoiusly...duh!
2 Corinthians 12:19 says, "But he said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."...
This verse rocked my world...I just wept...my sweet, wonderful, merciful, graceful, Jesus laid down His life in one of the most painful ways I could ever imagine... to free me from sin, and no matter my past or my future...He still loves me. He loves me no matter what view I hold of myself. He loves me when I don't love him.
So I guess from all that...here is the challenge: Do we really think God is who He says He is? If our whole world crumbled like Job's.... would we still think He was sovereign? Do we truly think that He is perfect in our weaknesses and His grace is sufficient?
Thank you God for meeting me at the end of my resources... Thank you for putting Vonda D in my life for leading me to this wonderful revelation I experienced with you. Thank you for showing me that control is not what I need, but what I need is to surrender my flesh and trust that you are who you are... and... in the words of JR....so big time!
Tonight was all about revelation, and the words in this song are just a beautiful description of our God. If you don't know this song, listen to it, be still, and praise God for being freakin awesome.
Revelation Song:
Worthy is the, Lamb who was slain
Holy, Holy, is He
Sing a new song, to Him who sits on
Heaven's Mercy Seat
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And I will adore You
Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and
Glory and power be
To You the Only Wise King
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything, And – I - will - adore You!
Filled with wonder, Awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is Power
Breath, and Living Water
Such a marvelous mystery
Yeah... Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything, And – I - will - adore You!
1 comment:
Thank you for this. I feel like God used you to speak to me.
can't wait to see you.
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